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It helped a bit, this is another chapter in the story I posted in the past. An ex gf of mine and I broke up last. It was "mutual" but they never are. This was right before she was moving to Hawaii and I had planned months before to go with her.
When the time came to share what we felt we inched away and decided to split. She found another, I started my look not much later. Before she left we met, kissed. I cried. I knew something wasn't right, I could tell she had been with another and that my feelings were being compromised. It hurt. Fast forward a few months. We talk online. She tells me she misses me, still has feelings for me. She also tells me she slept with another. This hurts too. I find other people to be with also.
I don't know for sure if this pain is because I keep talking with her or if I am betraying me and my feelings for her by being with another. She told me they ment nothing, I know my encounters didn't mean much at all. Now we still talk. It still hurts to hear her words knowing she was with another person, yet I still want to hear her and her. She is still in another state far away.
She is planning on moving back into town. She asked me what would happen when she moves back. Would we still talk in circles, try to work it out or find closure. I told her the possibility of couples counseling was appealing to me. She thought it was a good idea. I told her it still hurt to talk until then.
My communication with emotions lacks, she doesn't share often fearing my response and we have been known to play games with one another. Sounds like a match made in hell on paper. Even now after it all I still want her. I know she wants me too. I don't know what to do.
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