Added: Azadeh Khan - Date: 03.01.2022 19:18 - Views: 48602 - Clicks: 5223
Before we commence with the festivities, I wanted to thank everyone for helping my first book become a Wall Street Journal bestseller. To check it out. Meeting new people can be awkward. What should you say? How can you make a good impression? How do you keep a conversation going? Research shows relationships are vital to happiness and networking is the key to getting jobs and building a fulfilling career.
Plain and simple, who can explain how to get people to like you? Robin Dreeke can. I gave him a call to get some answers. Note that Robin is not speaking for the FBI here, these are his expert insights. Ask questions. Nobody — including you — likes to feel judged.
The one strategy I constantly keep in the forefront of my mind with everyone I talk to is non-judgmental validation. People do not want to be judged in any thought or opinion that they have or in any action that they take. Validation is taking the time to understand what their needs, wants, dreams and aspirations are. Seeking someone pleasant never heard it in quite that way.
Help me understand. How did you come up with that? And that lets people calmly continue talking about their favorite subject: themselves. Studies show people get more pleasure from talking about themselves than they do from food or money :. Talking about ourselves—whether in a personal conversation or through social media sites like Facebook and Twitter—triggers the same sensation of pleasure in the brain as food or money….
To learn more about the science of a successful life, check out my bestselling book here. Your ego. Most of us are just dying to point out how other people are wrong. And it kills rapport. Want to correct someone? Want to one-up them with your clever little story? Ego suspension is putting your own needs, wants and opinions aside. Consciously ignore your desire to be correct and to correct someone else. Dale Carnegie said it many years ago — and modern neuroscience agrees. When people hear things that contradict their beliefs, the logical part of their mind shuts down and their brain prepares to fight.
As soon as they recognized the video clips as being in conflict with their worldview, the parts of the brain that handle reason and logic went dormant. And the parts of the brain that handle hostile attacks — the fight-or-flight response — lit up. For more on keeping a Seeking someone pleasant fun. But how do you get a reputation as a great listener? Listening is having nothing to say. What you do is this: as soon as you have that story or thought that you want to share, toss it. Research shows just asking people to tell you more makes you more likable and gets them to want to help you.
The basics of active listening are pretty straightforward:. To learn the listening techniques of FBI hostage Seeking someone pleasant. I know, I know — some people are just boring. So what questions do you ask then, smart guy?
We all face challenges and we like to talk about them. A great question I love is challenges. What kind of challenges do you have living in this part of the country? What kinds of challenges do you have raising teenagers? It gets people to share what their priorities in life are at that point in time. Questions are incredibly powerful. Merely asking for advice. Studies demonstrate that across the manufacturing, financial services, insurance, and pharmaceuticals industries, seeking advice is among the most effective ways to influence peers, superiors, and subordinates.
Twisting your mustache thinking you can use this for nefarious purposes? Wrong, Snidely Whiplash. For a list of the questions that can create a strong bond in minutes. But what if you have to approach someone cold? How do you get people who might not want to talk to you to willingly give you their attention? Research shows just asking people if now is a good time makes them more likely to comply with requests:.
Nobody wants to feel trapped talking to some weirdo. People are more likely to help you than you think, but they need to feel safe and in control. For more on how to make friends easily. Even if you get all of the above right you can still come off like a shady used car salesman.
And that fear stops you from meeting new awesome people. Robin says one of the key reasons people come off as untrustworthy is because their words and their body language are misaligned.
Research backs him up. From Dale Carnegie to peer-reviewed studieseveryone says smiles matter. In fact, to increase their power, smile slower. It makes us happier too. Depending on whose smile you see, the researchers found that one smile can be as pleasurable and stimulating as up to 2, bars of chocolate!
To learn how to decode body language and read people like a book. So now you come Seeking someone pleasant as the pleasant person you are, not as a scheming taker. But what do you do when the other person is a scheming taker?
But what should do you do when you feel someone is using these methods to try and manipulate you? What are their goals in this interaction? The Seeking someone pleasant thing I try to do is clarify goals. What are you trying to achieve? So if you can just tell me what your objectives are, we can start from there and see if we can mutually take care of them. I watch for validation.
If someone is trying to validate me and my thoughts and opinions, I am alert to it. I love doing that as well. Are you there for me or are you there for you? Want to build a connection with someone? Focus on trustnot tricks. Trust is fragile. And mistrust is self-fulfilling. When you ask people what the most important character trait is, what do they say? Participants in 3 studies considered various characteristics for ideal members of interdependent groups e. Across different measures of trait importance and different groups and relationships, trustworthiness was considered extremely important for all interdependent others….
To learn how to detect lies. To learn more from Robin including the one type of body language that causes you to screw everything upoverreaders and get my free weekly update here. How to put strangers at ease. The thing you do that turns people off the most. How to use body language like a pro. Some great verbal jiu-jitsu to use on people who try to manipulate you. And a lot more.
So what should you do when people start spouting crazy talk? Studies show people get more pleasure from talking about themselves than they do from food or money : Talking about ourselves—whether in a personal conversation or through social media sites like Facebook and Twitter—triggers the same sensation of pleasure in the brain as food or money… To learn more about the science of a successful life, check out my bestselling book here. Be curious and ask to hear more about what interests you. The basics of active listening are pretty straightforward: Listen to what they say.
You absolutely have to smile. A smile is a great way to engender trust. That could be very offensive to someone. Give a little bit of an angle. I just try to use high eyebrow elevations. Basically, anything going up and elevating is very open and comforting.
Via Smile: The Astonishing Powers of a Simple Act : Depending on whose smile you see, the researchers found that one smile can be as pleasurable and stimulating as up to 2, bars of chocolate! Across different measures of trait importance and different groups and relationships, trustworthiness was considered extremely important for all interdependent others… To learn how to detect lies. Suspend your ego. Focus on them. Establishing a time constraint early in the conversation can put strangers at ease.
Smile, chin down, blade your body, palms up, open and upward non-verbals.Seeking someone pleasant
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How To Get People To Like You: 7 Ways From An FBI Behavior Expert